[OP] Box of Ponies

You say you hate being lonely? So get a box for some ponies!
Stop being so sad and stony! Buy this here product, homey!
It's got cute avatar sitters. They're guaranteed side-splitters!
So find some friendly critters, and check out these fine sitters.

This product's top shelf quality. I swear that you can trust me!
That redhead in the box? It's not a donkey or fox.
I'm one formerly lonely pony. So get a box like me!
Satisfaction guaranteed! Buy it now! And with speed!