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Tired of pesky government mind reading devices? Want to stop people from reading your thoughts? Want to have a cool hat that is also shiny?
Want to make sure most people will leave you alone?
WORRY NO MORE. In Novaya Russia we understand how important thought privacy is (as our thought police tell us all the time what you think). So to help protect against mental intruders we've come up with this very stylish hat which protects against harmful government fluoride third-eye rays used by satellites and automated teller machines!
- A Conspiracy Kiss!
