"Our services are sure to leave a lasting impression for all kinds and times."
-- Marzipan, CEO of Marzipan Tobacco Corp.

"By the letting of blood and the sweat of my brow, I am now marked as Eternally Loyal and Devoted to you, the ever-powerful and omnipotent Customer of Mine. I vow to never increase prices on you. I am slashing prices forever, as a mortal promise to you, the Customer, my brother, most friendly and just..."
--Marzipan, CEO of Marzipan Tobacco Corp.